I vant to be…alone

The speculations wheels are turning, and they should probably stop since the previous set of wheels just came off.  First, Sakura is still evil…not just seductive evil, I’m working toward full blow possessed by Satan evil.

If looks could kill…

The other wheel is that came completely off was my opinion of Shizuku. Is that a genuine attraction she’s expressing for Natsuru there?

That’s cause you’d break him

These two are so screwed

Story update – Sakura really does seem to have some kind of power, and uses it to command Natsuru to keep Shizuku out of her hair.  Now we just need to figure out where her hair is going.  Fine, my metaphors need work.

Yes master

The others track down Natsuru while Sakura works her magic, only to find he has no recollection of the entire evening.  Convenient, that.  So they move to confront Sakura, who deflects them with the same attitude toward hygiene that makes anime so popular.

CUE THE FOG!

Nothing to see here, literally

Sakura’s plan goes into action after the bath, when Natsuru (admittedly a brain washed Natsuru) finally reacts to Shizuku’s flirting

This is about 10 levels ABOVE flirting, to be honest…

To his credit, Natsuru breaks the control with Shizuku’s, um, help, but that leads to an awkward moment…

smoooooooooth

That’s all she needed

It’s good pain

And again, they throw me a bone.

Chance to do wh…OOOOOOH

With an unreliable pawn, Sakura steps up the stakes.

Never actually seen her surprised before

No idea where this is going.  Is Sakura evil or possessed?  Is Shizuku really after Natsuru or using him for her own purpose?  They can show this on broadcast TV in Japan?  Let’s just leave it all lie until next week, when I’m sure we’ll get more questions than answers.

OK, better start from the beginning.

Did you do something with your hair?

Kampfer continues to perform like a silly romantic comedy with a bit of deadly combat thrown in. With the introduction of the White team, the Class Pres is moving closer to her goal of finding out just what the heck is going on. Episodes 8 and 9 explore her machinations to draw them out, or at least that’s what I (and Natsuru) think. Time to explain.

With her, this could be an issue

Episode 8 is a date between Natsuru and Shizuku. At least that’s what she calls it. Natsuru thinks it’s a plan to draw out the Whites.

Shizuku does her best to convince him otherwise.

So…it’s a date?

The episode on its own is unremarkable, until you watch it back to back with Episode 9. Under the pretext of another date, now with Akane, (cause Natsuru is a player, again, who knew) the whole team, including Sakura, get together for an overnighter.

And the wheel turns.

Hello, I must be going…

Shizuku has always suspected Sakura is involved with the Kampfer project, what with her connection to the suicide dolls (not the band). Episode 9 tries to confirm this subtly, but instead confirms it like a brick to the face.

This overshot “glance” by a mile

Sakura is clearly seen sending the Whites after Natsuru, who make it clear they know who Natsuru is, gender-wise.  This plays right into Shizuku’s hands, and pretty much confirms what she’s been thinking about Sakura.  So that evening, she plays her card, much to Natsuru’s benefit (if he wasn’t too big a moron to appreciate it).

She now knows how many fillings he has

In the end, Sakura does a full fledged personality flip and drags Natsuru-KUN off into the night.

IQ = 4

This leads to a series of majorly confusing questions

• If Sakura knows Natsuru-chan is Natsuru-kun, what is her purpose in coming on to Natsuru-chan?
• Why did she send the Whites after Natsuru?
• Is this change recent or has she been pulling the strings all along?
• WTF is with Sakura dragging Natsuru-kun off into the night, and is she using some power on him, or is Natsuru just going stupid male on us? (Answer – stupid male)
• Are they going to crush my hopes of a real Shizuku/Natsuru hookup?

The last one is most depressing. I’m an admitted Tsundere fanatic, and I was so looking forward to Shizuku winning over Natsuru. Even I admit that was pretty unlikely all along, Natsuru himself being the biggest obstacle. But now it’s clear that her actions are all a ploy to call out Sakura. The tortured logic goes like this – if she pretends to fall for Natsuru, Sakura has to play the encouraging friend, given that this will leave Natsuru-chan free if Shizuku hooks up with Natsuru-kun. But as Shizuku suspects, Sakura knows the Natsurus are the same, so loosing Natsuru-kun looses her Natsuru-chan, and therefore she is forced to make her move. This hinges on the assumption that her attraction to Natsuru-chan is genuine, which, give the last two minutes of episode 9, is seriously in doubt.

run

So in the end, I, the master of missing the obvious, have no clue where this is going. Sakura’s conversion seems so sudden, did I miss some clues along the way or was this intentional?  This is going to get messy, with only one possible outcome – GIRLFIGHT!

Sumika Murasame is deeply in love with her cheerful classmate and friend Ushio Kazama. Ushio is openly lesbian but… she’s likes cute girls, and Sumika, top student, class representative, black belt in karate, is all but cute. Even worse, Sumika herself is terrified of endangering her friendship with Ushio and chooses to maintain the status quo, as much as it pains her to hide her feelings…

Sounds pretty standard.  But this show is so much more.

Sounds like a sound pla…WHAAAA!?!

It started strong, as you get a real feeling of the friendship and attraction between the two main characters.  But as we go on, they mix hard hitting emotion with just the right mix of goofy fun. Kazama is an absolute airhead.  Murasame attempts brings a level head to the table and fails miserably dealing with the craziness of the situations around her.  I so wanted Akemiya-kun (see above pic) to have more of a role, but I’m guessing he’ll be regulated to comic relief soon enough.  This is definitely a cast I want to see more of.

We’ll have more about this series as I play catch up, but you have to be aware, this series has it out for me PERSONALLY.

Tell me about it…

Addicted to crappy anime.

They’re coming to take me away, haha…

Like all addictions, you can’t hide your problems from your subconscious.  You’ve seen the pain the ambling plot and cliche situations this season is taking.  Even this week, we set up Yuuto with another party?  This is easily the third time we’ve seen this device.

That’s right, Yuuto’s union

From a distance, you should be able to see the signs of crappy anime.  The dependence on overused but popular tropes, like lolis and maids.  Whole teams of maids, in fact.

One of these chainsaws is not like the other…

Looking back, you saw the problems.  As early as episode 5, your post entitled Let’s Pretend This Didn’t Happen suggested you saw the flaws.  By episode 10, you didn’t pull any punches with I Think I’m Going To Be Sick.  Much like a combat maid trying to be domestic, you tried to perform the impossible, defending this show.

You know what they say about maids and grape drink…

Tentacle Monster

OMG that’s pitiful…and adorable!

But you kept watching, hoping there was some way this show would pull itself out of the basement it had dug for itself.  After all, otaku are nothing if not obsessive optimists, like Yuuto here.

He’s a master conversationalist

Maybe it was because the payoff potential was so high.  The fantasy of finding a perfect, rich, beautiful girl who is also an otaku drives more than its fair share of daydreams.  Almost as much as finding that mint in box figure you forgot to preorder.

More fake anime characters?

She could kill you with it 3 times before you hit the floor.

Yea, guess who won it for you?

I know it is hard to face critsism like this.  We are constantly exposed to the scorn of the outside world, so there is a strong desire to defend the indefensible, if only to fend off the unwashed masses, no matter how annonymous.

Oh it’s…you, Bob

But you don’t have to defend the indefensible.  You are among friends here, and those who speak against our sacred hobby do so at their own peril.

Rich never equaled smart

So admit what you have suspected all along – this is one stinker of a show.  Flat characters with no noticeable plot line to follow, it ambles from cliche to cliche without any redeeming merit.  It’s OK, say it outloud, we’re here for you.

To hell with Haruka-sama…

Now you are free, free to go out and watch shows worth your time, shows with class and style, like Kampfer or Queen’s Blade.

er, maybe not…

THE CAKE IS A LIE!

These two episodes represent the Beauty Pageant arc, as I like to call it.  Again, the initial excuse is pretty flimsy, but you can guess who does the entering, and who is the enteree.

Have you looked in your shirt this morning?

You have to imagine that as long Natsuru is going to be involved, somehow Akane, Sakura and Shizuru are going to get involved.  Now follow the logic – if you’re going to be in a pageant, you need matching underwear.  If your a guy who’s never shopped for women’s underwear (which is an assumption on my part), you better take along your female friend.  And naturally, if you go underwear shopping, chances are you’re going to run into your student council president, who’s going to call the other girl who has a crush on the female version of you, which you currently are.

That made sense when I started that paragraph.

It all ends in tears…well, actually, a karaoke sing off in an attempt to find a talent for Natsuru.  Instead, it turns into a sing-off with a duet with Natsuru for the winner.  Natsuru, as usual wusses out.

Yea, that’ll work…

This leads to the logical conclusion that this competition must continue on stage, and all of them must enter the pageant as well.  Natsuru has only herself to blame.

In fact, Natsuru’s wussyness needs to be discussed.  First off, I am not entirely convinced he’s a guy anymore.

While the natural outcome of a guy turning into a girl, which is standing in front of a mirror all day, is not the stuff that moves a story along, you would think there would be some desire to take advantage of the situation.  But still, do we assume Natsuru turns into a girl body and soul, or is he so fixated on Sakura he can’t stand the thought of oogling other girls?

Others are starting to notice.

So how does one prepare for a Pageant in this crazy school?  Flip through the next few pics for an idea.

With this kind of set-up, what follows is nothing short of a classic of seriously disturbed anime.   With no talents to actually use on stage, Natsuru tries falls back on her fire spells, but they were banned by the fire marshal.  Convenient, that, which to his credit, Natsuru calls them on it.

Sakura to the rescue

OK, what you got?

The hell???

Guess I have to bring up the Entrail Dolls, the guides for each Kampfer.  They are clearly a reference to Gloomy the Bear (google it), injured dolls that help the Kampfers out with just enough information to keep going.  More importantly, they are all distributed (if not made) by Sakura, which would be a major plot point if they ever get back to the whole girl fight sub-plot.

And thus, we reveal what the works of Shakespeare would have been like if they were sent in a world where everything is literally loosing their guts.

You first

I’m going to have to take your word for the whole shiney thing

It most certainly does not!

Heck, even the fansubber is loosing it.

I have to use that line next time I win at chess

Each contestant makes their entrance in turn, Akane interrupting Sakura and Shizuru interrupting Akane.  The actual act being interrupted is the opportunity for Natsume to get it on.  First Sakura.

Then Akane, who Natsuru messes up in his classic cluelessness.

And he was never heard from again

And finally…Shizuru?!

Honestly did not see that coming

And now we expand the love, um, pentagon?  Do I have to remind anyone that the pres has expressed the desire on multiple time to KILL Akane and Natsuru?  And are we ever going to get the 4th Kampfer?

Guess so

Exactly

Haruka continues to go down the crapper.  The show, not the character.  This seems a really weird time for a Christmas episode, considering it’s still Fall.

Rip roaring good time…

Same old same old.  Haruka fawns over Yuuto.

Who would even try to believe that?

Yuuto blushes and stutters.

How do his glasses stay on?

Mika schemes a scheme.

I’m sure it’s approved by the AMA

Extra characters do their weird thing.

I am scared that this no longer scares me

This episode is brought to you by the letter Y.

As in Y am I watching this.

This is breaking my rule of reviewing shows I don’t like, but I hold out hope we are just off to a slow start.  The last episode was pretty good gag wise, but over the top with the loli and fanservice.  So there is still a place this can go before I need to wash my eyes with acid to forget the stupid burned into them.

Finally, can we call these two a couple now?

They’re just really really really really really really really good friends

You read that right.

Not a Y chromazone in the house

Episode 2 sets up this situation, when the student council president, Shizuru, is revealed as the first enemy Kampfer.  This is the first sign that the story can rise above the depth of stupid I expected, as we start delving into the fact that no one really knows what the Kampfers are.

Hey, a plot point!

They still fall back on cliche personalities, though.

Tsundere is Japanese for Bitch

Now on to Episode 3.  This show confirms what every guy always suspected. Put a gaggle of females in an all girls school, and the need for testosterone drops to nil. This is revealed thanks to a flimsy excuse by the student council president to enroll Natsuru as a girl on the all girls side. The twist here is Natsuru is not so good at maintaining his transformation, and thus, hi-jinks ensue.

This is making me blush

I should point out there is no fighting in this episode, at least not with guns or swords.  Instead, this is developing into a first for me – an all girl harem show (so much for swearing off yuri).  First you have Sakura’s hot, hot pursuit of Natsuru.

What is she trying to say here?

Then Akane stakes her claim, though I’m still not clear if she is after girl Natsuru or boy Natsuru.

Subtile

What makes all this overt sexuality work is the fact that Natsuru sets records for densest anime character of all time.  Where talking white dwarf levels of stupidity here.

What was your first clue?

Shizuru’s solution to this is to start the rumor that Natsuru is already dating…Natsuru?

The question is not Why, but HOW!

Apparently breeders are no fun, and he quickly looses the interest of most of girls, but not Sakura.  She challenges Natsuru for the affections of Natsuru.  That’s right – Natsuru is his own rival.

Love square with three people?

Oh the psychology papers I could write about this show. There is always a slight lesbian undertone in any female ensemble cast, going all the way back to Sailor Uranus in Sailor Moon. Sometimes it’s implied, sometimes explicit, but in this case, it’s completely played for laughs. I suspect once the joke wears out we will be on to new things, like the love square between Sakura, Natsuru, Natsuru, and Akane. And we still have one more Kampfer to go, I’m guessing another red to balance out the sides.

You had me at acid.

Sense – this makes none

The plot this week introduces a new character, and again I have a new favorite.  Ichinose, to spoil the fairly obvious reveal of this episode, is the newest unintentional love interest for Kousaka.  I refer to her as a reverse trap – rather than the guy who looks like a girl, she is a girl who looks like a guy.  The method of the reveal is also pretty obvious.

The Japanese are a very clumsy people

Even the inflection in her voice changes depending on the situation.  Nothing like a bi-polar yakuza member to add to the fun.

The rest of the story has plot points that include the cliche

How many episodes will this go on?

The unexpected

This is not how you react to finding yourself in a Yakuza stronghold

To the WTF?

No.  God No.

The visual style of this show lands it firmly in the area of gag anime, with bizzare visual twists and turns like those below.

You can’t resist my Geass!

An important ecological message.

Also, I am convinced all Japanese people are muppets

There is a felt shortage in the Far East

Same stuff, different medium

Here’s my problem – even from the back cover snippet of the US manga, I know what’s coming soon in the anime.  Sawako is going to attract the ire of a rival, and we’re right back into what I call “combat” for shoujo manga.  I know the hero will come out on top, but I’d rather see people getting stabbed in the back with an actual knife than the emotional knives at use here.  But for this show, I have the opportunity to peak into the future, and find out how this ends.  Will it be a triumphant showdown with the tormentors?  A devious plan to trick the tricksters?  How low will they take Sawako before she fights her way back?  These are all things I could find out right now, at the price of the emotional impact that makes one watch or read this kind of story.  The degree of emotion is where I have been burned before.  If the rise from the depths doesn’t match the lows suffered, I’m left disappointed and angry (KimiKiss).  If the return is strong and powerful, I’ll feel elated and excited (Toradora).  It’s a crap shoot, and I have loaded dice.  Should I throw them?